netscapeshawty:

they never had a chance



motionjessinwhite:

anotherpunk:

"Your dress is too short."

Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.

OH MYG OD



cornfuse:

cornfuse:

thirstiest:

why do people like fall

gravity

NO WAIT I MISUNDERSTOOD



jaclcfrost:

if i lay here

if i just lay here

would you get me my charger because my laptop is about to die



debt:

I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet



partybarackisinthehousetonight:

"hey buddy did you know that impersonating an police officer is a first offence and can land you in jail?"
*high-pitched annoying cop voice* hey buddy did you know that impersonating a police officer is a first offence and can land you in jail



neptume:

THIS!!!!!!!! HILARIOUS!

Anniversary Prank Backfires!



abigalmills:

im not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye



weavemunchers:

imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves



literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.



unfollower:

i ordered pizza and i was like ‘hey sorry you have to work on thanksgiving’ to the delivery girl and she was like ‘i feel worse for the person ordering pizza on thanksgiving’ ouch



alexliveslaughesloves:

Payback is a bitch.





halloweenpunk:

i want to be able to say “???????????” in real life but all i can do is give this extremely expressive look of confusion and mild indignation



why develop feelings for people when you can just walk into traffic and achieve the same results